Peggy Shumaker's Moving Water, Tucson

I really like this short essay. Like the story, I also experienced a horrible flash flood as a child. In 1997, my town has hit with a terrible flood. A kid around my age died in the flood, when he tried to ride his 4-wheeler in Brush Creek. Also like the story, my friends and I played in the creek behind my house. We didn't really find any stuff that washed away, but we had to see the hard rushing water.

I enjoyed how the author captures the reckless and dangerousness of being a child with adult supervision. Even though I have never rode a flash flood on a piece of plywood. I have done some pretty crazy stuff just as dangerous and stupid. Plus its always better to watch.

I REMEMBER...

I REMEMBER...My Batman cape I wore for months after seeing the 1989 movie.

I REMEMBER...The little magic trick my Grandfather would do that I am still convinced is magic.

I REMEMBER...Getting my picture taken with ALF at a SEARS and crying.

I REMEMBER...Throwing up on the ride called The Predator at my county fair.

I REMEMBER...Struggling to stay up til eleven to watch Tales From the Crypt.

I REMEMBER...Practicing to Tango after watching the movie True Lies.

I REMEMBER...Punching a kid in Preschool because he wouldn't play with me.

I REMEMBER...The awful taste of my aunt's jello mold.

I REMEMBER...Eating Squirrel stew my Grandfather made only to hair in it.

I REMEMBER...Throwing a fit because I got Fantasia for Christmas.

I REMEMBER

A Look Back at My First Ever Blog Post.

It's been a while since I went back and looked at all the different blogs I wrote on several different sites. My first ever blog, I wrote in High School. I thought it was so cool and write blogs and have your own website. For my first blog, I thought I would write something smart and funny. But this is what I wrote instead.


My First Blog - February 1st, 2005

What if we had another Moon? First off it would be pretty amazing for Earth to have another Moon. But what would we called this new moon, Moon 2 maybe or probably so Roman Mythology name like Thor but whatever the name is it would be cool to have another Moon.

Please post a comment on your opinions on a new Moon or Moon 2.

No one ever commented nor gave their opinions.

This blog post reads like a lame stand up routine, which it probably was. Around this time, I secretly wanted to be a stand up comic and was always coming up with bits, just in case I was in a situation where I needed to do stand up. I once even recorded some of my jokes, but I have no idea what those jokes are or where that recording is. I don't remember a part of one joke about semi-trucks that haul other semi-trucks. I guess, that could be funny.

As for Moon 2, I like to believe my blogs are more insightful and entertaining now.

Brevity - Issue 31

I enjoy the shortness of Brevity, it is like a fun size snicker bar of stimulating essays. The essays are charming, witty,thought provoking, and heartwarming. These are the type of essays I enjoy the most. Short witty essays that get to the point. I try to capture that in my own writings.

My favorite of the essays is WQED, Channel 13: Programming Guide by Ann Claycomb. Being a TV junkie and growing up on PBS, I remember days like these.I remember watching these shows, but its refreshing to see parent side of a common childhood memory. I am also a big fan of second person, which can be tricky to pull off. I especially like the kind of second person storytelling that is not speaking to you, but the is a different character.

I also really liked Somebody Else's Genocideby Sherman Alexie. The essay tells an entertaining antidote about Germany's fascination with Native Americans and a strange Q and A.

Time Indefinite

As documentaries go, I was never a fan when the director of the documentary becomes the focus of documentary itself. I always thought the director should be absent and objective. I saw this documentary once called My Kid Could Paint That the film is about a child who paints abstract paintings. Halfway through the film the director becomes apart of the film and is debating if the little girl painted all these paintings. It seemed like lazy filmmaking. But this is a whole different type of documentary, a personal diary documentary. It is a completely different beast. In these type of documentary the director is the focus and he is documenting his own life. In this situation, I really enjoy the director as the star. I found the fact, the camera is a character really interesting. It is rare to have the camera is a character and star of the movie.

With personal documentaries there is one flaw, most films are sometimes on the verge of being boring and uninteresting and suspenseful and riveting. My favorite part of the movie is when Ross goes to visit his friend and try to help her get over her husband's suicide. No one excepted this. Before, he was experiencing normal everyday things most of us have or will experience.

One aspect, I wish the film would address more is how constantly filming his life is effecting his life. Ross touches on it a little, with the relationship with his family and father in the opening and towards the end when he has a baby with his wife. The fictional film, David Holzman's Diary is a great film, that deals with this very subject.

My Life Through Sylvester Stallone Movies

“My Life Through Sylvester Stallone Movies”
By Eli J Osman

Being a film fanatic and spending most of my waking life thinking, talking, and/or watching movies. Each film I’ve seen has its own special moment to me; some moments are small and some are lost or some barely remembered. Some even involve the films of beloved actor, writer, director, and for a limited time country singer, Sylvester Stallone.

Demolition Man (1993)
Character – John Spartan

I once ate dinner under the naked frozen body of Stallone from this movie at a Planet Hollywood restaurant in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It was really surreal and a little unsettling eating my New York style Cheesecake under a naked frozen body. I took a picture with my disposable camera. The cheesecake was good.

Judge Dredd (1995)
Character – Judge Dredd

After seeing this movie when it came out on video, I spent an entire week afterwards constantly repeating the line, “I AM THE LAW” in brilliant Stallone fashion. This process would repeat after every viewing.

Oscar (1991)
Character – Angelo ‘Snaps’ Provolone

I once saw someone selling one hundred copies of the DVD on eBay with a “Buy it now” price of $300. It was very tempting to purchase this lot of one hundred DVDs. Who in their right mind would sell one hundred copies of the same movie, especially a mediocre screwball gangster comedy from the early nineties? I assumed the only person who would have one hundred copies of Oscar in the first place, would be director John Landis or Stallone himself. If in the future, I randomly give you a copy of Oscar on DVD one of two things has happened; I have ran into some extra cash or I have got completely insane.

Victory (1981)
Character – Captain Robert Hatch

This was the first and as of now the only movie, I saw that feature an actor with the last name of Osman. Sadly, that actor played a Nazi.

Over the Top (1987)
Character – Lincoln Hawk

Because of this movie, I refer arm wrestling as playing “Over the Top”. But I always have to explain myself every time I use it.

The Party at Kitty and Stud’s (1970)
Character – Stud

This is Stallone’s first movie. It is also a softcore porn. My only viewing of this film was with a group of people I had just met. I was currently working on a horror short film and went to a guy house to get my stomach casted so I could get my guts ripped out. His roommates just got back from seeing porn star Ron Jeremy speak and was in the mood to watch some cheesy seventies porn. As his roommates piled in the living room, I was standing in the middle of the room with my shirt off having my stomach rubbed down with plaster. To make matters even stranger, one of his roommates started taking pictures of this process for his portfolio. Oddly, his roommates seemed really jaded by a half naked guy getting a rub down in front of them while watching the love-makings of Stallone. I now sympathize with young aspiring actresses that get pressured into porn and I understand the mind of Sylvester Stallone. I realize, out of shame comes greatness.

Rambo (2008)
Character – John Rambo

GREATNESS.

WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM.